I am an avid follower of Brandon the founder of Humans of New York (HONY). He makes regular posts highlighting the lives of people from different walks of life. Currently, his work has covered over twenty different countries since its inception in 2010. I would like to believe that I have read every piece he has posted since I bumped into his page. What I find interesting is that his photography and captions have been able to bring people from all over the world together, sometimes raising thousands of dollars for different causes. I will not bore you with the details of his work but my interest is on a post he did this past week on American presidential candidate Hillary Clinton.
In the post Hillary gives an account of her struggle on finding a balance in her emotions and behaving in a way that is in line with society’s expectations of a woman. I quote “….It’s really quite funny. I’ll go to these events and there will be men speaking before me, and they’ll be pounding the message, and screaming about how we need to win the election. And people will love it. And I want to do the same thing. Because I care about this stuff. But I’ve learned that I can’t be quite so passionate in my presentation. I love to wave my arms, but apparently that’s a little bit scary to people. And I can’t yell too much. It comes across as ‘too loud’ or ‘too shrill’ or ‘too this’ or ‘too that.’ Which is funny, because I’m always convinced that the people in the front row are loving it.”
Her statement generated a lot of discussion majorly because she is a presidential candidate but also because women from all walks of life could relate to her. We have definitely come a long way in the achievement of equal rights for women and their ability to access resources, education, health care, leadership position and participation in the decision making process since 1995. Yet women are constantly faced with society’s expectations on how they should behave whether it is in the work place or at home. If a woman does not show emotion, she is labeled as being cold but too much emotion gets her labeled a drama queen or a weakling. If she goes for what she wants she is too forward, laughing too hard will earn her the label of being too unladylike or uncultured. If she keeps to herself she will labeled as being anti social or moody. Somehow she is supposed to communicate what she wants without out rightly saying it. The list is endless.
I would imagine that in the 21st Century our society would have let off the pressure and let the women charter their own path. I am not here to complain but state the facts as they are based on experience and what other women have to deal with every waking moment. I am not ignorant to the fact that men have to deal with a set of their own pressure but those are shoes I have never walked in. I am tired of conforming and restricting myself to a box just because society expects me to do so. So my advice to my fellow women is simple; laugh as hard as you can, cry your eyes dry if you have to, go after what you desire, let your emotions show and never apologize for it. In the end we are not here to please others but to live a full life that radiates joy and touches the lives of others. Our emotions are the rainbow that makes this world so colorful and we should never be ashamed of letting them show!